In Part 1 of our story, I shared the exciting yet nerve-wracking moment when I discovered I was pregnant at 42. From the initial realization during a hectic night at work to the joy and concerns that followed, my husband and I were thrown into a whirlwind of emotions and decisions. We faced the reality of a geriatric pregnancy, navigated our first prenatal appointments, and dealt with the initial anxieties of what this pregnancy might mean for our family.

As we moved forward, the focus shifted to the critical prenatal appointments and the decisions we had to make along the way. The rapid appointment with the OB/GYN, the discussions about potential health concerns, and the first ultrasound marked significant steps in our journey. In this p art, I’ll delve into the experiences and emotions surrounding the prenatal screenings, the decisions about further testing, and the preparations we made as we antip;cipated the arrival of our son. Join me as I recount the pivotal moments that shaped our journey and led us to embrace the unexpected.

Getting the Referral

The following day, I went to a walk-in clinic to get a referral to an OB/GYN. While there, I was given the standard Canadian information about pregnancy. They asked if I wanted to keep the baby and if I understood the risks of pregnancy at my age. Urine and blood tests were taken, and a referral was made.

First OB/GYN Visit

Two days later, the OB/GYN called with an appointment for that afternoon. It was a scary day—I feared the worst. I had never received a referral and an appointment that quickly before for anything. At the appointment, they redid the blood and urine tests, discussed my options, and sent me for an ultrasound. After the ultrasound, I returned to the office to wait for the results, which had never happened to me before either.

I was given a due date, advised to switch to a different prenatal vitamin, and scheduled for a follow-up appointment a month later. Around my sixteenth week, I was offered a blood screening test that the doctor explained was non-invasive and posed no risk to me or my unborn child. I declined the test.

Decision on Screening Test

My husband and I had discussed the test. He wanted me to take it, believing that knowing for sure would allow us to prepare for any potential issues. I initially agreed, but when the time came, I reconsidered. The possibility of a false positive and the fact that the test only detects 80% of positive cases made me hesitant. Ultimately, I opted out. The results wouldn’t change my decision to have this child, whom I already loved deeply. I feared that any confirmation would only add stress for both of us, further compromising my already high-risk pregnancy.

Feeling of Unease

At some point during the pregnancy, I sensed that something wasn’t quite right. I attributed most of it to my age. The baby didn’t seem to kick as often or as hard as my other children had. I had even less energy and slept a lot. Besides that, there were no other signs I recognized as different.

3D Ultrasound

With this pregnancy, I was fortunate enough to afford a 3D ultrasound. I was so excited to have it done and decided to find out the gender at that time. I was right—it was a boy. It was a good thing, too, because I hadn’t given any thought to a girl’s name and had been calling him by his name for weeks already.

Technician’s Indirect Reveal

The technician at the ultrasound office didn’t have much of a poker face. He indirectly revealed the diagnosis by spending an unusual amount of time examining my son’s heart, neck, and organs. He asked if I had done any screening and seemed taken aback when I made it clear that I didn’t want to know unless it was a matter of life or death. He strongly urged me to have another ultrasound done through my doctor’s office. After that, I began to piece things together and started the process of accepting that my child would likely be born with a condition detectable through an ultrasound.

I don’t recall the exact process now; I no longer remember the fear or the doubts. But what I envisioned for my child changed. I saw him in a wheelchair, I imagined him with spina bifida, I envisioned him with Down syndrome, and various other conditions that Google conjured up for me. Eventually, I realized that it didn’t matter. My child would be loved, and every scenario I imagined for him included love and a well-lived, joyful, and fulfilling life.